What You Need to Know About Having Anal Sex for the First Time - Part Two
Due to the delicacy of the anal erogenous zone, losing your anal virginity can be likened to losing your vaginal virginity in many ways. As such, relaxation is crucial to a fantastic first time anal affair! Embedded with nerve endings, it stands to reason that anal sex frequently feels amazing! However, the muscles in this territory are accustomed to contracting down, rather than opening for insertion. Further to this, the mucosal membranes maintaining the passage do not self-lubricate and can be prone to splits or fissures. To circumvent this, steps must be taken to ensure you are psychologically and physically comfortable enough for your first time. There are many ways to unwind, and while relaxation is an individual phenomenon, below are a few tips to make that first-time anal encounter a remarkable one!
Anal Relaxation Tip 1 – Tell me what I want to hear
Research has found that, the greater communication between couples, the more satisfied they are with their relationship; both sexually and in general. For this reason, communication between you and your partner needs to increase BEFORE you have anal sex.
If you find yourself too shy to speak up about your wishes, introducing an adult movie that depicts the acts you are interested in, is a good way to gauge your partners' response. If they are not intrigued by it, you will know as soon as they watch it. If they are interested, you can use this to start a conversation about your longing!
If this is too forward, introducing the topic broadly to see your partners stance on it may work. You could start by chatting about the taboos around anal sex, or mention a friend who you know has just decided to give it a go and see their reaction.
Another good way to bring up the topic is to go into an adult store and walk around together talking about the items. See if you can start a conversation in the section with the anal products or if you can start one in the car afterward! As someone who works in an adult store, I see this approach being used regularly!
Once you are openly talking about having anal sex become more precise in your conversations with one another. Try examining your likes and aversions, why it interests you, and your expectations of it, before acting on your collective fantasy.
Anal Relaxation Tip 2- Tackle Taboos
For centuries, 'going rogue' has been deemed dirty, off-limits and unmentionable. Records dating back as far 149 BC indicate that it was banned and considered a despicable crime! Whether you realize it or not, it is possible that our societies stance on anal sex influences yourself and your partner's feelings about it. Think about what this means to you. For example, are you likely to feel some embarrassment engaging in it? If this is so, then do it with a caring partner rather than a casual sex partner. Does some part of you feel like anal sex is ‘dirty’ or ‘gross’? If so, then check our first blog on anal sex tips to reduce this worry!
Anal Relaxation Tip 3 – Shop Together
Shop for the needed products together, to heighten the excitement, open the lines of communication and increase your knowledge of your own body. It can make some people feel uneasy making ‘anal purchases’ from an adult store for the first time. Making your partner go in alone, places the awkwardness solely on them, rendering the experience harder. To strengthen your relationship and collaborate on your sexual needs, come in and brave the adventure together!
Anal Relaxation Tip 4 – Plenty of Foreplay
Start small and arouse the outside before rushing in. If you’re an ASS-centric person, this is going to be tough, but battle the lure to ‘go all in’! The exterior sections of the anus are the most sensitive and pleasurable, so bigger and further is not necessarily better in this case!
Contemplate starting with a back and butt massage, placing a well lubed up finger around and inside the exterior to relax everything in preparation for penetration. Try the Zumio for foreplay with a kick, if your partner is partial to play toys. This toy has the smallest tip imaginable, but a powerful clutch motor for maximum stimulation.
It is wise to slowly increase the size of what is entering the anus before having anal sex. Small butt plugs that are vibrating or non-vibrating are the perfect options for slowly expanding this zone. The Novice by B-Vibe is the best quality and strongest example of a beginners butt plug. It also comes with a remote control for game playing!
One of the reasons anal sex feels so amazing for both parties is the rhythmic convulsions of the muscles during stimulation. Anal Beads are a great way to get those spasms going. Each bead stimulates the anal muscles to expand and contract causing intense pleasure, which begins again with the moving of the next bead.
Anal Relaxation Tip 5 – Get Lubed Up
As we mentioned previously, the anal canal can be subject to tearing and does not self-lubricate. These rips can lead to infections and cause pain. What's more, the anal canal has an entirely different normal flora and pH balance to the vagina. To look after your health and best interests use a first-class, and preferably silicone based lubricant designed specifically for Anal Play. If you are using toys, then get a high-quality water-based version to extend the life of your toy. There is no healthier place to put your money than into a superior anal lubricant!
Pjur Back Door with relaxing Jojoba is perfect and comes in both a silicone and a water-based assortment. Other great inventions that reduce sensitivity without completely numbing the area are Anal Comfort Sprays and Anal Comfort Serums by Pjur. If you are prone to vaginal infections Sooth by Intimate Earth is the fitting option. The guava bark formulation has natural antibacterial properties, adding to your body’s biological defense system. This plummets your chance of cross-contamination infection, which increases with the practice of anal sex particularly in the case of UTI's. As the last point, please avoid numbing lubes, especially for your first time. The capacity to feel what is going on helps us know what we like and want!
There's no better place to get advice for your first time then BeDaring; we are caring, friendly and professional. And we look forward to seeing you!